I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
