i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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