my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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