How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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