you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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