My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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