you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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