just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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