think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have feelings that need drinking.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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