"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
