i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
