We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
