She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
