it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
