In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
