Buhtt sex?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
