then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
