She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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