my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
