He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
This is my gift to your gina
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
