I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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