Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
