dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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