What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
