so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
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Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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