I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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