ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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