ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
