this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
