Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
