dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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