i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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