I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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