I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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