I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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