he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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