Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
