well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize