i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
