I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
