I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just sent this text using only my big toe
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
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its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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