wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
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God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
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Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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