yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
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can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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