He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
