another moral hangover. fuck.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
