We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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