I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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