DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
