..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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