never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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