Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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