okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
