K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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