ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
