when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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