the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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