Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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