if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
