It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Oh god it's open bar.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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