I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
