If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
